PRO SE PROTECTIVE ORDER GUIDE

A Step-by-Step Guide to Obtaining a Restraining Order

SAFETY FIRST

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
TTY: 1-800-787-3224
Text: START to 88788
Available 24/7

WHAT IS A PROTECTIVE ORDER?

A protective order (also called a restraining order or order of protection) is a court order that legally requires someone to:
- Stay away from you
- Stop contacting you
- Move out of your home
- Surrender firearms
- Follow other conditions the court orders

SECTION 1: TYPES OF PROTECTIVE ORDERS

Domestic Violence Protective Order

For people who have a relationship with the abuser:
☐ Current or former spouse
☐ Someone you dated
☐ Parent of your child
☐ Family member
☐ Household member

Civil Harassment Restraining Order

For people who do NOT have a domestic relationship:
☐ Neighbor
☐ Coworker
☐ Acquaintance
☐ Stranger

Stalking Protective Order

For victims of stalking behavior:
☐ Repeated following
☐ Surveillance
☐ Threats
☐ Unwanted contact

Elder/Dependent Adult Abuse Order

For protecting vulnerable adults from abuse

Which type applies to me?
☐ Domestic Violence
☐ Civil Harassment
☐ Stalking
☐ Elder/Dependent Adult

SECTION 2: DOCUMENTING THE ABUSE

Incidents to Document

Record every incident of abuse or harassment:

Incident 1:
Date: [__/__/____]
Time: [____]
Location: [________________________________]
What happened: [________________________________]
[________________________________]
Witnesses: [________________________________]
Evidence (photos, texts, etc.): [________________________________]

Incident 2:
Date: [__/__/____]
Time: [____]
Location: [________________________________]
What happened: [________________________________]
[________________________________]
Witnesses: [________________________________]
Evidence: [________________________________]

Incident 3:
Date: [__/__/____]
Time: [____]
Location: [________________________________]
What happened: [________________________________]
[________________________________]
Witnesses: [________________________________]
Evidence: [________________________________]

Types of Abuse to Document

☐ Physical violence (hitting, pushing, choking, etc.)
☐ Threats of physical harm
☐ Sexual abuse
☐ Stalking or following
☐ Harassment (unwanted calls, texts, emails)
☐ Property destruction
☐ Threats to children or pets
☐ Financial abuse
☐ Emotional/psychological abuse

Evidence to Gather

☐ Photos of injuries (with date stamps)
☐ Photos of property damage
☐ Screenshots of threatening texts/messages
☐ Printed emails
☐ Voicemail recordings
☐ Medical records
☐ Police reports
☐ Witness statements
☐ 911 call records

SECTION 3: YOUR INFORMATION

Protected Person (You):

Name: [________________________________]

Address: ☐ Keep Confidential (check if needed for safety)

If not confidential: [________________________________]

Safe mailing address: [________________________________]

Phone: [________________________________]

Restrained Person (Abuser):

Name: [________________________________]

Date of Birth (if known): [__/__/____]

Physical Description:
Height: [____] Weight: [____]
Hair Color: [____] Eye Color: [____]

Home Address: [________________________________]

Work Address: [________________________________]

Vehicle: [________________________________]

Relationship to Restrained Person:
☐ Spouse/Former Spouse
☐ Dating/Former Dating Partner
☐ Parent of my child
☐ Family member
☐ Household member
☐ Other: [________________________________]

SECTION 4: OBTAIN AND FILE FORMS

Step 1: Get the Forms

☐ Visit your local courthouse OR
☐ Download from court website OR
☐ Get from domestic violence organization

Typical Forms Needed:
☐ Petition for Protective Order
☐ Temporary Protective Order (for judge to sign immediately)
☐ Permanent Protective Order (for hearing)
☐ Information sheet about the restrained person
☐ Confidential address form (if keeping address private)

Step 2: Complete the Forms

Write clearly and include:
☐ Your relationship to the abuser
☐ Description of the abuse (specific incidents)
☐ Dates of incidents
☐ Why you are afraid

What Protection Are You Requesting?

☐ Stay-away order (distance: [____] feet/yards)
☐ No contact (no calls, texts, emails, etc.)
☐ Move-out order (if you live together)
☐ Child custody/visitation provisions
☐ Child support
☐ Surrender firearms
☐ No posting about me on social media
☐ Other: [________________________________]

Step 3: File with the Court

Filing Information:

Court Name: [________________________________]

Court Address: [________________________________]

Filing Fee: $[____]

☐ No fee for domestic violence orders (most states)
☐ Fee waiver requested (for civil harassment)

Date Filed: [__/__/____]

Case Number: [________________________________]

SECTION 5: TEMPORARY PROTECTIVE ORDER

Same-Day Protection

When you file, you can ask for a Temporary Protective Order (TPO) that the judge can grant IMMEDIATELY, without the abuser being present.

☐ TPO granted: ☐ Yes ☐ No

Date Effective: [__/__/____]

Expires: [__/__/____]

What the Temporary Order Includes

☐ Stay-away distance: [____] feet
☐ No contact
☐ Move out
☐ Temporary custody of children
☐ Surrender firearms
☐ Other: [________________________________]

After Getting the TPO

☐ Get copies of the signed order
☐ Keep a copy with you at ALL times
☐ Give copies to:
☐ Your workplace
☐ Children's school
☐ Childcare provider
☐ Local police
☐ Building security

SECTION 6: SERVE THE ABUSER

The abuser MUST be officially notified of the order and hearing.

Service Methods:
☐ Sheriff (often free for domestic violence cases)
☐ Process server
☐ Certified mail (some courts)

NEVER serve the papers yourself - this could be dangerous.

Date Served: [__/__/____]

Served By: [________________________________]

☐ Proof of Service filed with court

SECTION 7: PREPARE FOR YOUR HEARING

Hearing Information

A hearing will be scheduled (usually within 2-3 weeks) where the judge will decide whether to issue a permanent order.

Hearing Date: [__/__/____]

Hearing Time: [____]

Courtroom: [____]

Gather Your Evidence

☐ All documentation of abuse
☐ Photos, messages, emails
☐ Medical records
☐ Police reports
☐ Witness contact information
☐ Make 3 copies of everything

Prepare Your Witnesses

☐ People who saw the abuse
☐ People you told about the abuse
☐ People who saw your injuries
☐ Police officers who responded
☐ Medical personnel who treated you

Practice Your Statement

Write out what you want to tell the judge:
1. Your relationship to the abuser
2. What the abuser did (specific incidents)
3. Why you are afraid
4. What protection you need

SECTION 8: YOUR COURT HEARING

Before the Hearing

☐ Arrive early (30 minutes)
☐ Dress professionally
☐ Bring photo ID
☐ Bring all evidence and documents
☐ Bring witnesses

Safety at Court

☐ Ask for a safe waiting area (away from abuser)
☐ Request a court escort
☐ Ask if you can testify remotely
☐ Bring a support person

During the Hearing

You will be asked to explain:
- What happened
- When it happened
- Why you are afraid
- What protection you need

The abuser may:
- Deny the allegations
- Ask you questions
- Present their own witnesses

Tips:
☐ Stay calm
☐ Tell the truth
☐ Answer only what is asked
☐ Say "I don't know" if you don't know
☐ Do not argue with the abuser
☐ Address the judge, not the abuser

SECTION 9: POSSIBLE OUTCOMES

If the Order is GRANTED

☐ Judge signs permanent protective order
☐ Order is typically valid for 1-5 years
☐ Get certified copies immediately
☐ Order is entered in law enforcement database
☐ Can request renewal before it expires

Order Duration: [____] years

Expiration Date: [__/__/____]

If the Order is DENIED

☐ Ask the judge for the reason
☐ Consider appealing (short deadline)
☐ Consider filing a new petition with more evidence
☐ Contact a domestic violence advocate for help
☐ Create a safety plan

SECTION 10: AFTER YOU GET THE ORDER

Distribute the Order

Give copies to:
☐ Local police department
☐ Sheriff's office
☐ Your workplace/HR
☐ Children's school
☐ Childcare provider
☐ Building security
☐ Trusted neighbors
☐ Family members

If the Abuser Violates the Order

Violation is a crime. If the abuser:
- Contacts you
- Comes near you
- Sends messages through others
- Shows up at your work/home

You should:
☐ Call 911 immediately
☐ Document the violation
☐ Save any messages
☐ Do not respond or engage
☐ File a police report

Renewing Your Order

Before the order expires:
☐ File a motion to renew
☐ Explain why protection is still needed
☐ File at least 30 days before expiration

SECTION 11: SAFETY PLANNING

Even with a protective order, take steps to stay safe:

At Home

☐ Change locks
☐ Install security system
☐ Vary your routine
☐ Tell trusted neighbors
☐ Have an escape plan

At Work

☐ Inform security
☐ Provide photo of abuser
☐ Have calls screened
☐ Vary arrival/departure times
☐ Park in well-lit areas

Technology

☐ Change passwords
☐ Check for tracking apps on phone
☐ Get new email address
☐ Adjust social media privacy settings
☐ Do not share location

Children

☐ Provide copy of order to school
☐ List authorized pickup people
☐ Have children practice safety plan
☐ Consider therapy for children

SECTION 12: RESOURCES

National Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
www.thehotline.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
www.rainn.org

Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center
www.stalkingawareness.org

Finding Legal Help

☐ Court self-help center
☐ Legal aid offices
☐ Domestic violence organizations
☐ Law school clinics

Local DV Organization:
Name: [________________________________]
Phone: [________________________________]

Legal Aid Office:
Name: [________________________________]
Phone: [________________________________]

CHECKLIST SUMMARY

Immediate Steps

☐ Create safety plan
☐ Document abuse
☐ Gather evidence
☐ Contact DV hotline for support

Filing

☐ Get forms from courthouse
☐ Complete petition
☐ File with court (usually free)
☐ Request temporary order

Service and Hearing

☐ Have abuser served
☐ Prepare evidence
☐ Line up witnesses
☐ Attend hearing

After Order Granted

☐ Get copies of order
☐ Distribute to key people
☐ Report any violations
☐ Renew before expiration

NOTES

[________________________________]

[________________________________]

[________________________________]

IMPORTANT REMINDERS:

1. Your safety is the TOP priority
2. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger
3. A protective order is just paper - have a safety plan
4. Violations are CRIMES - report them
5. You do NOT need an attorney
6. There is NO filing fee for domestic violence orders
7. Help is available - you are not alone

This guide is provided for educational purposes. Laws and procedures vary by jurisdiction. For specific legal advice, consult a licensed attorney in your state.